The Part Where You Let Go

Dear Pita,

I guess that's it...

A moment ago I broke up with Kris.

It's not for any sort of stupid reason, like he has smelly feet or snores or maybe he had another lady friend on the side. No, we decided that if it was meant to be then it would happen, and that just as best friends we don't have additional stress of wanting to be with each other all the time. However, he admitted that he will always love me, and I'll always love him..

But now we're just friends, and for some reason it's not as painful as I thought it was going to be. He's still really close to me and I guess that's what I really wanted. To be close to him...Anyways, we're both on good terms, so there's nothing to worry about. Haha, I told him I could wait, and he said I shouldn't...but he's waiting too.

Oh, Pita, this may hurt in time, but just knowing that this wasn't messy and we can still talk has meant everything in the world to me. I hope this entry isn't too boring compared to my last entries XD I apologize sincerely. Oh my, I don't know how to break it to everyone, or maybe I just won't. Maybe I'll tell everyone that I'm still in a relationship, but not give all the details. I can still visit him though, we agreed upon that. He has no intention at all of not hanging out with me. I'm so glad. I think the only bad thing is that I won't be able to kiss him...or hold his hand...or tell him I love him, at least, I can't mean it the way that I mean it.

But it's all okay. Thanks for listening..

Love,
Monchan

My Goodness, Woman

Dear Pita,

Make up your mind and post something!!! DX I keep finding drafts here and there and I don't know whether to delete them due to my selective OCD or leave them because you might want to finish them.

(Sigh) Well, anyways, I read the last draft you left, at least, what little was in it, and I'm happy you had fun that the weekend before last. I heard that you were also going to be staying up there this weekend as well, so I am doubly happy for you! You don't have to worry about me and You-Know-Who because, let's face it...It probably won't be getting any better. But I can still has hopes! Yes yes, and I shall for as long as I am not demoted, rather, promoted to crazy cat lady. I have decided that when i retire I will become a crazy cat lady, and they can't have significant others anyways, so...Problem solved!

I can also become a fantabulous Pokemon trainer and professional cosplayer/hobo/artist. I do believe that is a wonderful life goal, wouldn't you say so? I can never be sad now, because I know that no matter what happens, I will always have a backup plan! Mwahahahaa! Ooh! That reminds me...I wonder if I can get all my cosplays finished in time D:> I need to start working on them super soon..AND I have to work on some stuff for Morgan's art table! I don't want her to have to make a ton of stuff. It would be terribly inconvenient to carry. Plus, I want to feel helpful. I'm so selfish...

This journal may be pretty short because as of right now I just don't know what to say...I keep listening to music, though, which means I haven't gone completely insane. But don't fret! Have fun at campy, and I'll see you next weekend :3

Love,
Monchan

SOOORUUUUU!!

Dear Pita,

"BURAKU STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (I know that's what you were thinking XD )

(Ahem) Anyways, I don't know if you ever EVER get on Facebook (my God, I have too many accounts...), but if you did/do then you'd know that I had saved up enough money and decided to purchase the ever amazing Pokemon: SoulSilver! Ah yes, I had to get Silver if I wanted my loverly Lugia (swooon~). But I digress, the game itself is amazing, and I get to catch all of the Pokemon for my dream team, which is steadily changing as I realize that my main types that I use are Fire and Dark..Does that make me evil? ;n;

Also, It seems that Black Rock Shooter has been shipped off today, so I shall be seeing her soon enough! I'm so excited. I just happen to be getting all kinds of awesome stuff from Japan, haha. I'm such a nerd, and proud of it, yes ma'am. I really need to get started on my cosplays...However, Yesterday I came across these lovely long button up shirts that were only $3 that I could use for Silent Hill nurses!! I bought two (One for Rachel and one for Max), so at least I can get that done. Maybe I'll work on it sometime Sunday. I can't wait!! Should I be Heather? I do want to make a Pokemon Trainer outfit..

Ah I'm getting ahead of myself. Black Rock Shooter is top priority. If I don't get her outfit done as accurate as humanly possible then I have failed as a cosplayer...And we can't have that! No no no...

Also, tomorrow I'm finally finishing my Star Wars marathon with Molly. I thought the tea party would be when we finished, but alas, we had it outside, and TVs and outside don't go together (except this one time on Halloween when I walked by this house and some people had a huge flat screen TV outside and they were watching football. They had a couch outside too o.O ) And Max will also be there, so I can make arrangements for an A-Team viewing/nurse outfit making day with him. I wonder if I could buy the seasons of The A-Team somewhere..Ain't got no time fo' jibba jabba!! (God, I wish I had that van...its, like, my second dream car.)

That's about it for today, just me being nerdy with a side of otaku and topped with old school awesome. I hope things at camp aren't as awkward as they used to be...Happy job times!

Love,
Monchan

A Jellicle Day

Dear Pita,

Oh my goodness!! I can't believe we have two more watchers!! One is another friend (which I'm not sure if that counts -_-; ) but the other is a completely unknown person!! I'm so excited I don't even know what to say! Maybe my nonsensical life is actually interesting to someone...

Ah! Well, anyways, I did some more painting at the other house, which I must be too good at since I keep finishing my jobs and then my mom doesn't know what to tell me to do, so I lay around all bum-like. But hopefully I work enough that I get a good amount of munnies for cosplay and Mechacon (since I know you'll probably never lend me money again). At least I kind of have a job when I get to Mechacon...selling sketches at the art table of the AMAZING Morgan! I hope I get some requests, and I can't wait to see all the stuffs she's made..Hehe, I'm too excited now.

Anyways, when we got home it turns out that they were showing Cats on Ovation (and you know how I love Ovation <333 ) so you could say that I sort of kidnapped the TV for a couple of hours. It was the first time that I've been able to see Cats ever since that one time I saw an advertisement on TV when I was really young...I don't even remember how old I was...but yes, the opening number led me to not only realize that I can't watch anything with anyone else (The parents spent a good 5 minutes trying to decide what they were saying, when it was clearly "jellicle", taken from a book by T.S. Eliot) but also that I have no idea what was going on. I mean, I got the gist, but I had to go onto Wikipedia to figure out the main plot.

Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, but I was certainly mad at myself for falling asleep during the last act...UGH!! But I still know what happens at the end, and it comes on tomorrow at some absurd time, so I shall watch it again! But surely not after I finish my Star Wars marathon with Molly. She's amazing! I can't wait to watch again one of my favorite movies EVUH.

I guess that's about it for today, just me being excited about silly things, haha. Adieu! Hope you're having fun!!

Love,
Monchan

Gaga

Dear Pita,

I went with Mom this morning to help her clean up the house we're trying to sell. I drove, of course, and popped in a Lady Gaga mashup CD I has made for the great Amelia. I must say I am pleased with it, even though it has "Love Game" on it, which I know you detest immensely. However, this version is catchy and AWESOME!! You should hear it.

Anyways, so after several hours of painting and listening to the radio (which happened to favor Rihanna for the afternoon...I think I have memorized "Rude Boy" by now..), we went home and a strange thing happened. Adam called me. He hadn't talked to me until today since school let out (for me of course, he was a Junior), and I was so excited to hear from him. He wanted to borrow my graphing calculator for the ACT, so I said he could come over...Like, now.

Well, obviously not now, as it was earlier in the evening, but at the moment is was a "now" kind of moment.So he came over and after a few minutes we realized that he wasn't leaving (in a good way). We decided to take on the A-Team which was coming on in only an hour, and so we talked about just stuff that had been going on. That's when he told me he had a boyfriend.

Wait...what?

I got to talk to the very adorable and VERY sweet Matthew (whom has declared me his instant friend), and after I hung up Adam and I gushed about how our boyfriends make us blush with cheesy romantic lines and shnugglins...I miss Kris T_T Yeah, but we both agreed on our birthday we would instantly become pedos since they're younger than us. Haha, how terrible and wonderfully creepy. We talked about other random things and had Jello, watermelon, watched some Monk, and then he went home. It was gloriously strange, and I quite enjoyed it.

Even though that's pretty much my whole day, I can strongly say that it was a great day. Something so simple can be so exciting, I don't know why people have to spend money to backpack across Europe or hitchhike across America, but any sort of adventure is worth having...My art teacher specifically told me not to go hitchhiking across America though. People become hobos that way, and I already am one, so it would be quite a waste.

Ah! I hope you're having fun at camp, and don't get homesick!! We must see The A-Team!! DX Hurry up and come hooooooome! Later, gator.

Love,
Monchan

Sugar Cube Dots

Dear Pita,

I had the tea party as planned and it was quite glorious. Only three people showed up (Max, Molly, and Morgan...hehe), but it was still fun. We ended up drinking all the tea and a good bit of the cake was eaten, so i believe it was a success. I realized it was the first get-together that I've actually planned by myself...I'm so proud!!

I must tell you about the details though, for they are also wonderful. I set my alarm for 7:30 because I knew I'd have to bake and make all kinds of tea before Max came to drive me to the park. I took a shower which later turned out to be a mistake, because here in this horrid state we have this thing called "the sun" and "humidity" which made me automatically gross again. -_-;

But yes, showaaaaaaaaah! And then I got dressed (Of course DX ) and went downstairs to make some cinnamon crumble cake and I took a few pieces of the pumpkin bread. Then I made a bunch of orange chamomile tea (I think that's what it was) and boiled some water for the extra tea bags I had. I packed it all (with milk and tea cups) into a big cardboard box sandwiched with towels. I must say it was a slight smart move on my part.

But the drive to teh park caused some tea to spill over anyways...But first!! We stopped at the grocery store for sugar cubes, but all I found were sugar cube...dots? WTF?! (And by this, I mean "What the fudge", kids, fear not.) So we had our party in the park with sugar cube dots, crumble cake, and lots of tea and laughs. Afterwords I went to Morgan's house with Max and we hung out until 10. He gave me some mix CDs and I went home.

So here I am, a perfectly wonderful day gone by and I can't wait for more to come. I wish I could've written down every detail, but sadly this entry would be a bagillion times longer (not really..but significantly longer) and then you'd be like, "Meeeeeeeeeh! Stop typing so much, you nerd DX "

Yeah, but I can't wait for Mechacon! And road trips! And college...and just, so many things. Life is awesome as heck. Stay cool!

Love,
Monchan

This Program Has Been Brought To You By The Following Sponsors...

Dear, dear Pita,

Please read the post before this one for this to make any sense.

I just talked to him. We chatted a little about Mechacon before he told me that his phone is dead again. By dead, I mean that his phone bill went unpaid...So it literally does not work. We talked a little more about Mechacon. Then he had to go, but not before I mustered up enough courage to ask what he wanted to tell me.

He wanted to know where we stand. Where will he and I be in a year?

I cannot tell you how relaxed I became. The sad thing is that I knew the answer, and yet he had to go. I know where we'll be in a year...I'll be in college, making art, working on video game concepts and graphic novels. He'll be starting college, taking the basics and also doing what he loves. We'll find ways to meet each other (I'll do most of the driving) and we'll have fun, watch movies, have Pokemon battles...and I'll still love him dearly.

That's all I had to say Pita. I can now sleep soundly tonight.

Goodnight,
Monchan

In Which A Tea Party Occurs

Dear Pita,

Yes, indeed a tea party is among us. And it is to be happening tomorrow, though by the time I finish writing this it may very well be "today", but just keep that in mind. Rather, okay, Wednesday I shall host a party. Yes yes, I normally never invite people to go places, but I have actually created an occurrence in which people will gather together because I, so very shy and unsociable, have asked them to. Isn't that wonderful?!?!

I'm quite excited, though I have no idea how I am going to transport hot water/tea, cakes, and various tea cups to the park whilst I have no way to keep them warm. Well, I mean, the cakes can be served cold or room temperature...but tea? No no, it must be warm at the very least. I shall bring my loverly teapots as well to be passed amongst the masses. And by this, I mean a bunch of girls and Max. (I should have invited more guys, but they don't know Max T_T )

I must say that I hope this tea party takes my mind off of other things...I'm not sure how to think nowadays. It seems just when I think that I've got everything under control something terrible happens. I texted You-Know-Who (You better know who DX ) today and he didn't text me back. Then again, I was kinda mad at the moment, and he probably felt it. Ah well...but then I texted him later and still no reply.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Have I become one of those terrible clingy girls that I despise?! Please help me, Pita. I've felt too many emotions in the last 24 hours for me to be normal. I've decided (rather, I decided two days ago) that I would become a hermit and then I would never have to have relations with anyone except my super awesome cats and my one huge dog. Sadly, I have told this to people, and some express encouragement (not realizing I was serious) and only one person so far as said they would stay my friend, even if I was a hermit...

Maybe I should switch to "Crazy Cat Lady". Either way, I've decided that I won't get into this "love" business anymore. I've been through all kinds of crap for 4 years, and I certainly do not want to go through heartbreak in college. In short, if this ends up as a breakup, please don't be sad for me ^^ I still have friends and family who love me, and a cat who is secretly a human, and my imagination which gives me the ability to make art, which is wonderful. I could never ask for anything else...but I must admit that I won't stop loving him. They say you never stop loving someone, either you still do or you never did...

And I still do.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Haha that would be terribly awkward if people I knew read this, well, other than you and Quina. I dunno why, but I suddenly realized that I haven't played Pokemon in a couple of days. Maybe that evil Latios has finally gotten to me...I shall never catch him! Waaaaaaaah, how terribly awful. Lordy me, these entries always seem to get longer and longer as I babble on with my foolish nonsense.

I feel so selfish now. I should be happy no matter what happens in my life because of all the things I have and all the things that I will have. I'm going to work hard to make sure that no one will ever be sad. I know this isn't possible, but you have to admit the thought that you could make everyone in the world happy...That you could make a difference like that...Isn't that wonderful?

I hope you're having fun at camp. We need to see the A-Team with Michael (Micheal? So confusing DX )...Maybe getting out of this house more will do me good. And don't forget to smile. You are adorable.

Much Love,
Monchan

Box Jellyfish and How I Cannot Use a Sewing Machine

Dear Mon,

It has been a while since we've written on this blog. I almost felt there would be no need continuing the blog during the summer since we saw each other much more often. Of course, I've been wrong on many occasions, including this one. Let's be glad for that.

Yes, we have a follower! The lovely "Red" that I mentioned in my graduation blog has stumbled onto our little means of communication. We'll manage, with or without fans.

I wonder if wisewit still lurks around our page...

You had mentioned the film "Seven Pounds" and how box jellyfish look adorable. I shall warn you beforehand that you must not see this film. It is utterly depressing, milks dramatic moments in hopes it would win an Oscar (it didn't), and the main guy dies at the end in one of the most excruciating manners I can imagine. Considering how you read the film's synopsis, I can safely assume you know the box jellyfish you're gushing over only looks adorable.

Which leads me to another subject-- with films that have been in theatres this year like "Tooth Fairy," "Furry Vengeance," "Marmaduke," and eventually "Stretch Armstrong," it begs the question if film executives will ever learn that not everything is marketable. As much as I can gush about Repo Man: The Genetic Opera, it doesn't change the fact that "Seventeen" was a song the film would have been better without.

Alas, Mechacon is approaching more quickly than desired, and I find myself rushing a little to finish these costumes before I officially retire for the rest of the year.

Our sewing machine is out to get me. The stitching comes out horrible, and I'm reserved to hand-stitching. That's all I'll say on that subject.

I could write more stuff, but I'm too tired, and there's no amount of Roseanne that can keep me awake. Goodnight, Mon.

Pita

Moist

Dear Pita,

Don't you just love that word? Moist...Moist...Moist...reminds me of Neil Patrick Harris. Oh dear, how I love him. I wonder if you saw that episode. Anyway, don't think about it too much.

Turns out we have a follower! Sadly, I'm not sure if he counts, but I'll take it ^^ At least that's one person reading this mindless nonsense I put out into the cyberworld. Was that too redundant? Who knows...I haven't heard from You-Know-Who yet, but I hope he's having fun hanging out with his awesome friends. Oh, that Nick Jonas is hilarious. I would fight him for his steampunk goggles though. He better watch out.

I'm just kinda chillin' in my room at the moment, listening to music and coming up with even more characters that I now have to create a story for. I read the synopsis for the movie "Seven Pounds" (which I'm not sure if you underline the titles of movies or put them in quotes. Due to lack of underlining things, I will use quotes) I read that the main character has a box jellyfish, so then I got curious and went on a Wikipedian excursion to discover this "box jellyfish." It is quite possibly the most adorable thing I've ever seen that doesn't have a functional brain.

This, however, led to more jellyfish research and I came across the Aurelia. It is kinda pinkish and has this flower pattern on top. POOF! A character was born, uncreatively named "Aurelia." Which I happened to draw a few hours after posting my last entry. I am still determined to keep up with this blog! I shan't fail you!!

I do need to start writing some sort of script for my stories though. I don't know what the start with...Maybe you can help me. They're all pretty cliche, but I figure with some English classes then I shall get better. We'll see! At least it'll give me soemthing to do whilst it is raining outside. My goodness it's so moist out there. (See? The title is relevant, I promise)

That's about it for now, hopefully I don't get gray hairs while worrying so much about what he's worried about. What a strange train of worriment, wouldn't you say? I'll drive you back up to camp tomorrow and say farewells, but I hope you won't have to worry as much as I do about anything EVER. Stay cool, home skillet.

Love,
Monchan

Speechless

Dear Pita,

My goodness it's been forever! I don't even know what to say...It's been just about two months, but not really, since it's only really been one month and a little more. I'm sorry I haven't written, and even though no one reads this, it's my only friend in the middle of the night.

Let's see if I can catch you up on some things. You've got a counselor job at a Girl Scout camp, which of course you already know, and I have deeper things to deal with, like finding F-ING LATIOS!! That baby keeps running away! Grrr...

Ah, what I meant was that only an hour ago a person very very dear to me said that they had some "things" on their mind. Of course the first thing I thought was, "He wants to break up with me? He likes someone else? Wait! What if this whole time he's been going out with another girl?!" And THEN of course I start shaking and being completely irrational. Needless to say he quickly told me it was NOT that, AT ALL.

Silly me...

But I am so curious now. He seems distant anyway, but I'm afraid to pry since he says that we'll talk later, and it's about us...I don't know if I should be worried, concerned, excited, anxious, sad, all of the above, or just become a hermit. I've decided to make a separate option and make him a mix CD. I hope he likes it, though I'm not sure how it will turn out, or what exactly he likes. I know that he doesn't really like country, which is good, because neither do I.

I can't believe I just typed all that out, I apologize. However, you have to promise to me that you will NOT talk about this with me. It is a private matter and I intend to keep it so...unless it does involve some broken hearts, then I may need your shoulder, and you may need to change your shirt a couple of times.

Anyways, other than late night worries, I've been playing like heck to get all the Hoenn Pokemon in Pokemon Emerald, which you already know, but I have a good amount of them already caught, except that I may need to trade Pokemon over to Pokemon Pearl in order to finish (since this requires restarting to achieve certain Pokemon, as you know), but first I need LATIOS!!! I never thought he would be so hard to come across, that little -..Ah, well. Hopefully he will man up and face my Wynaut, which reminds me, I need to make him evolve so he doesn't die in 5 seconds.

That's really about it for my summer. Job applications have been fail recently, been a little down about not seeing Kris, and fail at Pokemon. Haha, this summer might end up as horrible as my Junior year, but we won't get into that. I hope camp goes well for you, and in a few months you'll have to drag me out of bed to drive ya to school.

Happy Camping!

Love,
Monchan