The Part Where You Let Go

Dear Pita,

I guess that's it...

A moment ago I broke up with Kris.

It's not for any sort of stupid reason, like he has smelly feet or snores or maybe he had another lady friend on the side. No, we decided that if it was meant to be then it would happen, and that just as best friends we don't have additional stress of wanting to be with each other all the time. However, he admitted that he will always love me, and I'll always love him..

But now we're just friends, and for some reason it's not as painful as I thought it was going to be. He's still really close to me and I guess that's what I really wanted. To be close to him...Anyways, we're both on good terms, so there's nothing to worry about. Haha, I told him I could wait, and he said I shouldn't...but he's waiting too.

Oh, Pita, this may hurt in time, but just knowing that this wasn't messy and we can still talk has meant everything in the world to me. I hope this entry isn't too boring compared to my last entries XD I apologize sincerely. Oh my, I don't know how to break it to everyone, or maybe I just won't. Maybe I'll tell everyone that I'm still in a relationship, but not give all the details. I can still visit him though, we agreed upon that. He has no intention at all of not hanging out with me. I'm so glad. I think the only bad thing is that I won't be able to kiss him...or hold his hand...or tell him I love him, at least, I can't mean it the way that I mean it.

But it's all okay. Thanks for listening..

Love,
Monchan

My Goodness, Woman

Dear Pita,

Make up your mind and post something!!! DX I keep finding drafts here and there and I don't know whether to delete them due to my selective OCD or leave them because you might want to finish them.

(Sigh) Well, anyways, I read the last draft you left, at least, what little was in it, and I'm happy you had fun that the weekend before last. I heard that you were also going to be staying up there this weekend as well, so I am doubly happy for you! You don't have to worry about me and You-Know-Who because, let's face it...It probably won't be getting any better. But I can still has hopes! Yes yes, and I shall for as long as I am not demoted, rather, promoted to crazy cat lady. I have decided that when i retire I will become a crazy cat lady, and they can't have significant others anyways, so...Problem solved!

I can also become a fantabulous Pokemon trainer and professional cosplayer/hobo/artist. I do believe that is a wonderful life goal, wouldn't you say so? I can never be sad now, because I know that no matter what happens, I will always have a backup plan! Mwahahahaa! Ooh! That reminds me...I wonder if I can get all my cosplays finished in time D:> I need to start working on them super soon..AND I have to work on some stuff for Morgan's art table! I don't want her to have to make a ton of stuff. It would be terribly inconvenient to carry. Plus, I want to feel helpful. I'm so selfish...

This journal may be pretty short because as of right now I just don't know what to say...I keep listening to music, though, which means I haven't gone completely insane. But don't fret! Have fun at campy, and I'll see you next weekend :3

Love,
Monchan

SOOORUUUUU!!

Dear Pita,

"BURAKU STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (I know that's what you were thinking XD )

(Ahem) Anyways, I don't know if you ever EVER get on Facebook (my God, I have too many accounts...), but if you did/do then you'd know that I had saved up enough money and decided to purchase the ever amazing Pokemon: SoulSilver! Ah yes, I had to get Silver if I wanted my loverly Lugia (swooon~). But I digress, the game itself is amazing, and I get to catch all of the Pokemon for my dream team, which is steadily changing as I realize that my main types that I use are Fire and Dark..Does that make me evil? ;n;

Also, It seems that Black Rock Shooter has been shipped off today, so I shall be seeing her soon enough! I'm so excited. I just happen to be getting all kinds of awesome stuff from Japan, haha. I'm such a nerd, and proud of it, yes ma'am. I really need to get started on my cosplays...However, Yesterday I came across these lovely long button up shirts that were only $3 that I could use for Silent Hill nurses!! I bought two (One for Rachel and one for Max), so at least I can get that done. Maybe I'll work on it sometime Sunday. I can't wait!! Should I be Heather? I do want to make a Pokemon Trainer outfit..

Ah I'm getting ahead of myself. Black Rock Shooter is top priority. If I don't get her outfit done as accurate as humanly possible then I have failed as a cosplayer...And we can't have that! No no no...

Also, tomorrow I'm finally finishing my Star Wars marathon with Molly. I thought the tea party would be when we finished, but alas, we had it outside, and TVs and outside don't go together (except this one time on Halloween when I walked by this house and some people had a huge flat screen TV outside and they were watching football. They had a couch outside too o.O ) And Max will also be there, so I can make arrangements for an A-Team viewing/nurse outfit making day with him. I wonder if I could buy the seasons of The A-Team somewhere..Ain't got no time fo' jibba jabba!! (God, I wish I had that van...its, like, my second dream car.)

That's about it for today, just me being nerdy with a side of otaku and topped with old school awesome. I hope things at camp aren't as awkward as they used to be...Happy job times!

Love,
Monchan

A Jellicle Day

Dear Pita,

Oh my goodness!! I can't believe we have two more watchers!! One is another friend (which I'm not sure if that counts -_-; ) but the other is a completely unknown person!! I'm so excited I don't even know what to say! Maybe my nonsensical life is actually interesting to someone...

Ah! Well, anyways, I did some more painting at the other house, which I must be too good at since I keep finishing my jobs and then my mom doesn't know what to tell me to do, so I lay around all bum-like. But hopefully I work enough that I get a good amount of munnies for cosplay and Mechacon (since I know you'll probably never lend me money again). At least I kind of have a job when I get to Mechacon...selling sketches at the art table of the AMAZING Morgan! I hope I get some requests, and I can't wait to see all the stuffs she's made..Hehe, I'm too excited now.

Anyways, when we got home it turns out that they were showing Cats on Ovation (and you know how I love Ovation <333 ) so you could say that I sort of kidnapped the TV for a couple of hours. It was the first time that I've been able to see Cats ever since that one time I saw an advertisement on TV when I was really young...I don't even remember how old I was...but yes, the opening number led me to not only realize that I can't watch anything with anyone else (The parents spent a good 5 minutes trying to decide what they were saying, when it was clearly "jellicle", taken from a book by T.S. Eliot) but also that I have no idea what was going on. I mean, I got the gist, but I had to go onto Wikipedia to figure out the main plot.

Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, but I was certainly mad at myself for falling asleep during the last act...UGH!! But I still know what happens at the end, and it comes on tomorrow at some absurd time, so I shall watch it again! But surely not after I finish my Star Wars marathon with Molly. She's amazing! I can't wait to watch again one of my favorite movies EVUH.

I guess that's about it for today, just me being excited about silly things, haha. Adieu! Hope you're having fun!!

Love,
Monchan

Gaga

Dear Pita,

I went with Mom this morning to help her clean up the house we're trying to sell. I drove, of course, and popped in a Lady Gaga mashup CD I has made for the great Amelia. I must say I am pleased with it, even though it has "Love Game" on it, which I know you detest immensely. However, this version is catchy and AWESOME!! You should hear it.

Anyways, so after several hours of painting and listening to the radio (which happened to favor Rihanna for the afternoon...I think I have memorized "Rude Boy" by now..), we went home and a strange thing happened. Adam called me. He hadn't talked to me until today since school let out (for me of course, he was a Junior), and I was so excited to hear from him. He wanted to borrow my graphing calculator for the ACT, so I said he could come over...Like, now.

Well, obviously not now, as it was earlier in the evening, but at the moment is was a "now" kind of moment.So he came over and after a few minutes we realized that he wasn't leaving (in a good way). We decided to take on the A-Team which was coming on in only an hour, and so we talked about just stuff that had been going on. That's when he told me he had a boyfriend.

Wait...what?

I got to talk to the very adorable and VERY sweet Matthew (whom has declared me his instant friend), and after I hung up Adam and I gushed about how our boyfriends make us blush with cheesy romantic lines and shnugglins...I miss Kris T_T Yeah, but we both agreed on our birthday we would instantly become pedos since they're younger than us. Haha, how terrible and wonderfully creepy. We talked about other random things and had Jello, watermelon, watched some Monk, and then he went home. It was gloriously strange, and I quite enjoyed it.

Even though that's pretty much my whole day, I can strongly say that it was a great day. Something so simple can be so exciting, I don't know why people have to spend money to backpack across Europe or hitchhike across America, but any sort of adventure is worth having...My art teacher specifically told me not to go hitchhiking across America though. People become hobos that way, and I already am one, so it would be quite a waste.

Ah! I hope you're having fun at camp, and don't get homesick!! We must see The A-Team!! DX Hurry up and come hooooooome! Later, gator.

Love,
Monchan

Sugar Cube Dots

Dear Pita,

I had the tea party as planned and it was quite glorious. Only three people showed up (Max, Molly, and Morgan...hehe), but it was still fun. We ended up drinking all the tea and a good bit of the cake was eaten, so i believe it was a success. I realized it was the first get-together that I've actually planned by myself...I'm so proud!!

I must tell you about the details though, for they are also wonderful. I set my alarm for 7:30 because I knew I'd have to bake and make all kinds of tea before Max came to drive me to the park. I took a shower which later turned out to be a mistake, because here in this horrid state we have this thing called "the sun" and "humidity" which made me automatically gross again. -_-;

But yes, showaaaaaaaaah! And then I got dressed (Of course DX ) and went downstairs to make some cinnamon crumble cake and I took a few pieces of the pumpkin bread. Then I made a bunch of orange chamomile tea (I think that's what it was) and boiled some water for the extra tea bags I had. I packed it all (with milk and tea cups) into a big cardboard box sandwiched with towels. I must say it was a slight smart move on my part.

But the drive to teh park caused some tea to spill over anyways...But first!! We stopped at the grocery store for sugar cubes, but all I found were sugar cube...dots? WTF?! (And by this, I mean "What the fudge", kids, fear not.) So we had our party in the park with sugar cube dots, crumble cake, and lots of tea and laughs. Afterwords I went to Morgan's house with Max and we hung out until 10. He gave me some mix CDs and I went home.

So here I am, a perfectly wonderful day gone by and I can't wait for more to come. I wish I could've written down every detail, but sadly this entry would be a bagillion times longer (not really..but significantly longer) and then you'd be like, "Meeeeeeeeeh! Stop typing so much, you nerd DX "

Yeah, but I can't wait for Mechacon! And road trips! And college...and just, so many things. Life is awesome as heck. Stay cool!

Love,
Monchan

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Dear, dear Pita,

Please read the post before this one for this to make any sense.

I just talked to him. We chatted a little about Mechacon before he told me that his phone is dead again. By dead, I mean that his phone bill went unpaid...So it literally does not work. We talked a little more about Mechacon. Then he had to go, but not before I mustered up enough courage to ask what he wanted to tell me.

He wanted to know where we stand. Where will he and I be in a year?

I cannot tell you how relaxed I became. The sad thing is that I knew the answer, and yet he had to go. I know where we'll be in a year...I'll be in college, making art, working on video game concepts and graphic novels. He'll be starting college, taking the basics and also doing what he loves. We'll find ways to meet each other (I'll do most of the driving) and we'll have fun, watch movies, have Pokemon battles...and I'll still love him dearly.

That's all I had to say Pita. I can now sleep soundly tonight.

Goodnight,
Monchan